Last few days of 2016…and where are you?
No…no…this question is not for you. I was pondering on this. What have I learnt in 2016 that I didn’t know earlier? Have I grown? Have I evolved?
Often the end of the year brings on a severe case of self-flagellation. We look back on all that we promised ourselves and all the things we didn’t achieve.
This year I’ve decided to do it differently…it’s time to look at all the positive things that have happened…the new courses I took that expanded my Learning Zone, the new friends that I have made, the new stategies I learnt and the successes I have had. Time to look at what went really well, and what can be done better.
I have realised that keeping our focus on all that didn’t happen is just a learning. We need to look at our habits that have kept us stuck there. And why did we stay there? Not because we didn’t recognise it, but we feel that we “HAVE TO” get rid of our bad habits.
Now this is completely WRONG – when you try to get rid of your bad habits, you enter into a no-win battle with will power that leaves you even more defeated than before. And this cycle goes on and on and gets worse and worse… leaving you frustrated, under-confident and crippled with a “ I will never make it” belief.
You have been doing what you learned to do, so don’t blame yourself, it’s not your fault. You already know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. NOW you know that your current habits are giving you your current results…so instead of hitting your head against the wall, it’s time to shine the light on them, bring them out of the closets you have hidden them and take a long, hard look at them
So what are these habits which have kept you stuck in mediocrity and smallness?
Habit #1: Procrastination:
This is a biggie…Every one procrastinates….and the two things which keep us stuck in procrastination is Perfectionism & Overwhelm. The trick is to learn strategies that move you from Procrastination to Success. One of my mentors, Alex Mandossian, says, “Sloppy success is better than perfect mediocrity”. And he’s right, one small step puts you on the path to doing more, having more and being more.
Habit #2: Time Poverty:
No person has become rich by managing time badly. Harv Eker says,”The way you do anything is the way you do everything”. And if you are a bad time manager, chances are you are managing the rest of your life badly too…your money, your health, your relationships.
Habit #3: Negativity:
What kind of questions are you asking yourself? Give me the answer and I can tell you what your life is like. I used to ask myself horrible, damaging questions – and I did it without even realizing it – I had no idea I was sabotaging my own success and happiness time and time again. And then I discovered how to use self-talk to open up my awareness and everything changed for me.
Imagine how different your life will be when you notice what you are saying to yourself and change them. Yes it’s that simple.
Habit #4: Resistance:
Louise Hay says that famously, “What you resist, persists”…so what have you been resisting? Your bad relationships, your lack of money, your shitty, dead-beat job? Think about the number of years you have had them in your life. And how has that worked out for you? See what I mean? What you resist persists, but what you look at, transforms. Just be willing.
Habit #5: Chaos
So much of our time we spend fire-fighting…time to put in systems that will allow you to work towards the big picture you have. Neitzsche said, “Chaos give birth to the dancing star.” Nothing wrong with chaos…we just have to learn to create order from them.
Habit #6: Isolation
Feeling that you are alone, and that no one has the problems that you have, is one of the biggest ones that keep people stuck in failure. Move out, communicate, find people who are doing what you want to do and model them…be open, strike up conversations…you may find a new perspective or a new friend.
It’s not just important to identify these habits, you have to also start taking the steps to transform them, one step at a time. Change is scary. Change is messy. When you get through it, however, it’s, well, life-changing:)
If you would like help in making your 2017 epic, register for our new online course, Happiness@Work . This is designed to help you put together a workable plan for your life and start experiencing those wins. Let’s work together to make this the best year of your life.